Dear Pittsburgh Penguins fans,
Congratulations, you are now in possession of one of the greatest hockey players of all time. Actually, what am I thinking…. you’re now in possession of 3 of the greatest hockey players of all time. You already had two and with the addition of Jarome Iginla, you’ve now got 3 in your lineup. Make the most of it this season.
We Flames fans have 16 years of experience with Jarome Iginla, so please allow us to offer the following suggestions/comments to better understand the future Hall of Fame player you’ve acquired for your Cup run this year, and how to welcome him to your great city.
1) Jarome is an amazing person and ambassador for hockey. He is known to all as “Iggy” and the most appropriate way to welcome him to the ice for his first shift in a Pens jersey is to chant “Iggy…. Iggy…. Iggy” over and over. This will certainly get a smile out of him, and, more importantly, will solidify in his mind that he made the right choice in coming to Pittsburgh. It will also ease the pain inside all Flames fans’ hearts, so please consider this for the benefit of all.
2) If you ever want Iggy to play better, collectively pray/wish that someone hits him hard. Don’t worry. He’s a bear and won’t get hurt, and it will only make him angry. An angry Iggy is the best Iggy. Angry Iggy is the one that will single-handedly dismantle the opponent’s defence just when you need him to. As previously-indicated, you already have a couple guys that can do that. When you throw Angry Iggy into the mix, you’ll certainly like the results.
3) The main reason Iggy has not won a Cup so far is that our team’s management wasn’t able to surround him with players that exceeded his hockey ability, and were thus able to take the pressure off Jarome. Sure, he got really close when the Flames scored more goals than the Lightning in game 6 of the 2004 Stanley Cup Finals, but for some unexplained reason, Tampa Bay won that game and eventually beat the Flames 2-1 to win the Cup. Now that Iggy has guys like Crosby, Malkin and Neal to play with, opponents will no longer be able to focus solely on Iggy, and you’ll see him light it up. Please, whatever you do, make sure your team wins the cup this season. Not just for you, but for all of us.
4) Iggy is the most humble guy you’ll ever meet – even more humble than Sidney, some may argue. It is for this reason that he has the utmost respect of everyone in Calgary, and the majority of our rivals’ fans too. When you see him around town, don’t be afraid to welcome him to Pittsburgh in person. You may be surprised how approachable and friendly he is, despite his superstar status.
About 2 years ago, as the Flames floundered in our “almost making the playoffs, but not quite, for the umpteenth” season, it became evident to many of us that Iggy would eventually be traded. There were a few different teams that were on my list of “acceptable” places to trade our captain. You should know that Pittsburgh was on the top of my list.
While I am very sad that Iggy has left the Flames because we couldn’t get him a Cup, you should know that there is a small amount happiness in my heart that he’s on your team now. Before your recent acquisitions, the Pens were my favourite to win the Cup this year. Now that you have added Iggy, Morrow and Murray to your lineup, you are head and shoulders above the rest. Now all that is left is to keep everyone healthy, and battle your way to a 4th Stanley Cup.
You should know that there is no other end to the season that will be acceptable to us, so make it count.
And, whatever else you do, enjoy the ride. This kind of thing doesn’t happen every day.